Why do women wear underwear? Why do we wear clothes that are ill fitting? I had an issue with both today! Underwear can make your day uncomfortable and then we add poor fitting clothes. I felt like I was wearing a girtle. If your 50 you know what a girtle is, for you younger girls it's like Spanx. Before Spanx was popular, we would wear this crap because we were conditioned to do it.
These contraptions we wear have to be designed by some inadequate design diva who does not wear their own product. With that being said, when I am uncomfortable I lose my ability to perform my duties well. All the tugging to constantly readjust is distracting.
I have been conditioned since a young age with the words.. "how a lady should act & what to wear". I grew up with having to dress and look presentable to even go out into my own backyard! Really, I never knew any better. I would have never dared to wear athleisure to the grocery store. However, when 2020 came along I lost all purpose for my looks, what I was wearing, if I had makeup on or not. Was my hair in place? Heck no, a southern girl going out of her house in Under Armour shorts, t-shirt, flip flops and no makeup to the grocery store. The rule was as soon as you do this you will surely run into several people you know. Well, yep that happened every time.
I really didn't have the energy to care, and now 4 years later I am going to the store in my Under Armour looking just like I did in 2020, but, this time it's different I have embraced who I am. I mean who I really am. I am comfortable going to the store engaging with others in my athleisure -no makeup look. For so long I had no idea how exhausting it was to look "perfect". Now, there is no such thing as perfect but for me being type A ,perfectionism still exists. This mindset is all in what I was conditioned with growing up. I found out if I was "perfect" my teachers would like me, older adults would like me, my parents, and friends parents would like me!
These are mental health issues and it all started with "my Grandmother" and mother making me do things their way. I was very sheltered and controlled growing up through doing chores and ideals of how they wanted me to be. You talk about helicopter parent. Obviously, back then we did not have all the technology and resources of today. Parents were all "perfect" to where therapy or even discussing child rearing in a peer group would have been taboo especially in the South where everything is a ray of sunshine.
My Grandmother raised my mother like a captive in her own home. If truth be known my mom was probably subjected to various degrees of child abuse. She only told me a few things about her childhood and it was not pretty. My mother grew up with zero self confidence. It wasn't until I became her caregiver at 19 that things changed for her. Unbeknownst to me her life became a little better because at that time I started alleviating some of her pain with the " Grandmother". I started interfering and refereeing becoming an advocate for my mother. I was just the buffer she needed to help her grow into some self-confidence. Living next door to my grandparents made it all the more difficult to grow up . I just thought I had a "normal" childhood. I was conditioned at such an early age to excel and be perfect in my duties, my chores, my schoolwork, my looks, my dress. Looking back, how exhausting. My Grandmother did not want children and she clearly made it known to my mother that she, was put on this earth to be at my Grandmother's beck and call which lasted a lifetime! How is my mental health? Some days better than others,I can look in the rear view mirror but I know I need to get out of the car and go for a walk.
Now that my parents are no longer with me and the fog is lifting and I am slowly getting a picture of who I am and where I came from. I am not going to lie, it hurts. I know I can not proceed with getting better physically, mentally, or spiritually if I don't take a cold hard look at the facts and truth of my upbringing.
Below I will list what I do in my current life to help me get through this day to day process. I will put the links down below for items I currently need to keep me strong and moving forward each and everyday. These links are suggestions. Once again, it is a process and I don't always like the truth! It is not fun to take a cold hard look at the upbringing but I know in order for me to accept who I am and to actually own where it all started I have to be open to the good, bad and the ugly. No sticking your head in the sand which I love to do at times. I have to learn to like myself and be a better person to me. I challenge you to do the same. Go out today and treat yourself you deserve it!!
Until next time......
Gaia Adrenal Support is a great product.
Pure Vitamin D everyone needs an extra dose especially in the winter and fall
New Balance Fresh Foam is a great shoe for walking and working out. I really like the support of this shoe.
Dr Teal's Bath Foam the fragrance in itself is so relaxing... happy dance!!
Pure Vitamin E most females over 50 need to assist with menopause.
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