Why are people stuck in a bubble? Why do we give each other lip service?
How do you know people for years, you give them your phone number, ask them to get together and nothing ever materializes???Why do some of us continue to do these habits? Is it because we’re all tired mentally and physically? Does everything seem like a chore or drudgery? Personally, do not mention getting together if you aren't going to follow through on your word. I am old school and if I say something then I must do my best to carry it through. Let me give you some perspective, my family even gives me lip service. My ex , he is especially guilty of not following through on his word. I gave up on counting and expecting from him. One example, when we were married he told me we would celebrate when I passed the state exams for my insurance license. I was excited because one I love a challenge and two I love the reward. I am still waiting almost 10 years later for my celebration. At the time I was so deflated because he lives in his own bubble. I genuinely believe people do not mean to just give lip service. It's just a bad habit of small talk.
Living in a bubble doesn't always allow us to see the bigger picture. Little did I know, how much I would be hurt by empty words. I was not and have not be mentally prepared for all the rejection that I have encountered. I am starting to see I have buried a ton of emotions.
What we have been exposed to over the years comes back in various forms of emotions. I for one think my emotions reveal themselves as anger, volatility, sadness, mild depression and loss of self.
Here we must challenge ourselves to protect our mental health by staying true to ourselves. We need to focus on choosing how we spend our time. I personally need to back away from the bubble. I want and need to make a positive difference for myself.
I question our mental state. Do most of us not want to make the effort because it just seems like another task? Does it feel like tedious, monotonous work to meet up with people sometimes? I actually think it does. I am not going to lie. I cannot take my own advice some days and I have no good reason as to why. I know I just feel exhausted.
I was asked to go to brunch recently and I’ll be honest the idea of it sounded great and I accepted but then when the day came to do it, dread came over me and I wanted to return to my bubble. Mentally the storm clouds start rolling in to where I did not want to go! I am a routine person who is very regimented in her ways. I am not good with stepping out of my bubble. Every now and then I try really hard to convince myself that I can socialize.
Have I given out so much of myself over the years that I am so guarded with my time and energy. I think so. Is it selfish of me to not want to engage at all with people unless I surround myself with positive energy. Maybe it's because I did not do the asking and I feel out of control in this situation. Usually, I am the driver behind my engagement.
Do I crawl back into my bubble? Maybe the answer is simple, I need to plan on how the interaction is going to go otherwise it's going to be a mental drain which turns into a physical drain. Forced socializing just feels like a drain on my spirit. Sometimes depending on how exhausting the event is it may take me several days to recover. Wow! I know you ladies understand that kind of mental exhaustion! I have been exposed to sensory overload. Noises are a trigger for me. Loud noises especially. I get so hyper focused that my anxiety levels start to rise, I become more irritable, I start to have physical discomfort where it's time to leave. My ADHD kicks in and it's time for me to run. Flight is the first thing I think of, once I remove myself from the trigger, I start to calm down and feel better. I have noticed my safe zone(my bubble) is in my car or house which in essence tells me I like to close myself off to the world. I want to get back to my "Bubble" where I am comfortable.
I had no idea that at 50 I would see so much that plagues me. Where does the dread come from? Are we exhausted from all the technology in our lives? What is exhausting us??? Kids, parents, extended family, job, friends, volunteer work, spouse and the list can go on.  I believe that I struggle with SAD. In order for us to be mentally, physically, and spiritually healthier, I do believe it is important that we find some companionship through our journey in life. Statistically proven mental health improves greatly when we have a cheerleader, a mentor, a support group or a tribe. We can not live in a bubble. It's a proven fact that we are mentally, physically and spiritually better when we engage with others. The health benefits outweigh being alone in our journey . Our overall health improves, our mood improves, we are more positive in our thinking, we are more physically active, we encourage and establish healthier habits. This apprehension to socialize and to stay in a bubble is a very interesting topic to me because I would like to know why the disconnect? Is it safer to not branch out? Yes, of course. I'm on my journey seeking answers. I ask myself is it jealousy of others? What is it? Sometimes people just are not fun. Maybe I am not stimulated by the conversation. Maybe they are shallow, too negative, or too immature. All I know is, we must challenge ourselves to protect and improve our mental health. We need to focus on staying true to ourselves and choosing how we spend our time. I have and I wish to continue to make a positive difference for myself. Here are a few suggestions I am personally working on:
We must learn to say no! This word is hard for us as adults because we do not want to disappoint. We have to change our viewfinder. We must look at this as protecting myself to be a better person for myself and my loved ones.
Take a short breaks in the day, go outside for 5 minutes and take a few deep breathes.
Block out 30 minutes just for you. Think about it does a toddler want to take a nap? Heck no! However, is that toddler refreshed and refocused after the nap to enjoy the rest of the day? Absolutely! We must take a break to recharge! We are better humans when we are not constantly burning the candle at both ends!
WE all need to work on minimizing distractions especially the ones that cause our mental health to suffer whether we know it or not. Distractions are usually negative such as the news, social media, gossip and drama. I am just as guilty of these distractions in my life as the next person. I decided recently that I needed to have my phone surgically removed from my hand. I know am leaving my phone in the car when I run in stores to do my errands. Baby steps.....find what works for you.
I challenge each of you all to pick one thing to work on. Set a goal put it on your calendar and after 2 weeks give yourself a progress report. Make adjustments as needed. It's important to be proud of our accomplishments!
Lastly, I love to buy my "bright spot in my day". I enjoy little things and I incorporate them into my daily routine. Example: fun disposable coffee cups, True lemonade packs, fun napkins
Go out and treat yourself!!
Until next time........
Here are a few links of items I have purchased to help with my Seasonal Affective Disorder.
New Balance Shoes for walking daily.
Therapy Light I like that this light it comes with a remote control.
I love the fragrances from Dr Teal's they help improve my mood.
Gaia Adrenal Support, Nature's Bounty Vitamin D need supplements to help with my anxiety and bouts of the blues.
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