I witnessed some disturbing behavior mother's day while I was on vacation that I wanted to share with you all. I was at the beach on mother's day and as I was standing there breathing in the ocean air a family of 5 came down the beach path. The group consisted of a 40 something couple, their 2 daughters(ages maybe 8,6) grandmother and family dog.
What caught my attention was the 40 year old mother of the 2 young girls started barking orders immediately at her family. She insisted that they take a beach picture immediately before she forgot. She only wanted her husband and dog in the photo. As a bystander, I am thinking, ok maybe this will include these 2 cute girls next. No big deal, right? I was definitely wrong. Unfortunately, they were so close to me the young mother proceeded to tell her 8 year old daughter how to take the photo and then she criticized her for not doing a good job and taking too many photos. Ouch! It's mother's day today, right? Will this day take a mental toll on this child? Will there be chronic long term effects on her mental health?
The disturbing part of this scene to me was that mom felt compelled to criticize her daughter who was doing the best she could. If you want a professional photo shoot then hire a photographer. The mother's tone was very condescending and I just felt really sad for the girl. At this point, the dad became irritated and he started in on the five year old. Why? I have no idea. I think just because his wife's negative energy transferred on to him. The point is, if you are that keyed up and frustrated that early in the morning then it may be time to do an evaluation of your life.
I completely understand how difficult it can be to raise children but we lead by example. My thoughts were, that mother is so focused and wrapped up in her on image that she is not giving gratitude for this day. Look at the picture, you have two little girls who need you not only today but throughout their life's journey. If it's more important to you to be on the phone texting, talking and ignoring your children then we need to put a few strategies in place for better mental health.
Children grow up very fast and in today's world parents sometimes have more stress than they can handle.
The stress of adults can have a profound and often very toxic impact on their children. The effects could impact them emotionally and psychologically. It is very difficult to provide a safe, stable and loving environment for children when you are stressed. An entire host of issues can develop such as the children will model negative behaviors, they will have increased anxiety, there could be interruption in development, as well as mental and physical health issues. The long term effects can be devastating.
To help mitigate these issues here are 12 strategies that can be applied:
Adult Solutions; talk with a therapist, family or friends
Adopt healthy coping strategies such as breathing techniques and meditation
Be open and honest about your feelings; tell your children you have had a stressful day and here is why...
Unplug; limit screen time; set a timer to put your phone aside 30 minutes
Have dinner as a family several nights a week no phones allowed
Get outdoors, vitamin D is greatly needed; grounding... walk around barefoot
Bring nature indoors, promote a scared living space by keeping a clean and organized space
Eat several healthy foods throughout your day
Sleep is critical; know your sweet spot and work on getting those hours in as much as possible
Keep a journal or a calendar to help you stay on focused on improving your mental, physical and spiritual health
Do something you love; revisit an old hobby or pick up a new
I have seen first hand how not putting a health plan into place can absolutely crush a spirit. My ex husband is dealing with the fall out after all of these years from 2 parents who placed a priority on their corporate careers as opposed to nurturing their children. Sometimes, I think no amount of therapy or self care can ever give him total peace with the emotional unavailability and neglect of his parents. What started at age 5 for him has manifested into years of negative behavior patterns due to an unhealthy upbringing. I will say he is extremely motivated, strong, and he has overcome many obstacles and I am proud of him.
Take care of yourself!
YOU are important!
Until next time.......
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