The fear of embarrassment and rejection causes significant anxiety for individuals who were raised in such an environment. My ex-husband serves as a prime example of the consequences of carrying this burden throughout life. He has often reacted with anger in uncomfortable social situations due to his heightened anxiety, leading to poor outcomes. He mistakenly believes that others expect perfection from him, adding to his fear of embarrassment. Consequently, he avoids situations where he might have to mitigate any potential damage, including to his own self-image. In his presence, I find myself treading carefully, as he anticipates being embarrassed by my actions in front of certain people. Having said that, I have observed that his fear of rejection induces significant stress and anxiety prior to an event. For instance, during a working dinner we had last week, things went poorly. Luckily, the clients were unaware, but I could sense the trouble. In the days leading up to the dinner, he experienced anxiety, intense apprehension, which resulted in outbursts and various physical symptoms. After dinner, the following day we engaged in a conversation about how we could take positive actions to move forward in the future. Given his nature, we must devise a strategy as it is very unsettling to feel like we are constantly on edge, anticipating a potential crisis.
Below, I will share the plan that we formulated:
Strategies to Help Manage Fear of Rejection and Anxiety:
Setting Realistic Expectations: understanding rejection is a normal part of life and it is not a reflection of one's self worth.
Planning a strategy before the meeting involves considering various aspects such as its duration, location, travel time, potential discomfort, and the possibility of opting for a phone meeting instead. It is important to anticipate different scenarios and be prepared for them.
Ensure you have a support system. Is it necessary for someone to accompany you?
Try organizing a casual dinner with a friend or family member before meeting clients. Practice going out before your actual meeting or event. Do something easy go grab a coffee or an appetizer. Plan an event that is no longer than 30 to 45 minutes. Keep it manageable for you.
Be open and honest with yourself about your abilities. Stay focused on the plan you created as the event or meeting draws near.
Have a backup plan and formulate an exit strategy ie: Instead of letting the meeting drag on, ensure it is kept within a designated timeframe. Begin concluding the meeting 10 minutes before the scheduled end time and adhere to the agenda. Avoid allowing the meeting to extend beyond the set duration. Establishing boundaries is crucial.
I've discovered that the situation wasn't as negative as he anticipated. It was just a matter of perspective. We sometimes have to pull the lens back in order to allow it to refocus. Planning ahead before entering potentially uncomfortable social settings can improve your focus and alleviate some anxiety.
Below is a list of my personal methods I use daily to help combat my anxiety:
I use Pure Adrenal Support, Dr Teals Bath Salts, I take many walks in my new balance shoes , I enjoy reading self help books, I journal, and I use Doterra essential oils and I follow a few motivational Instagram accounts. Shared links below:
Take care of yourself!
Until next time..........
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