Today is the 2 year anniversary of the passing of my best friend, the one and only who has

been there everyday since my birth. For me losing my mother, my friend, my confidante has been extremely hard for me to come to terms with. I believe I have been left in this world alone. Crazy right? Not at all. I know there are so many of us out there who feel similar.
So I decided to distract myself by going to the office to work on my new webpage and to blog. I keep deleting parts of my webpage and I really don't know what I am doing. I just go in there and start clicking buttons. I didn't earn the nickname hurricane for nothing LOL!
So let me set the stage for you... I work in an office building with all techie people mainly all males whom I find lucky and I call them smart! I decided to be proactive and instead of me spinning my wheels trying to find my way through this problem I went straight to the boss and asked for help. Well, that went over like a lead balloon! I feel like when I open up myself for help I just get crapped on. Now, with this being said, how this event unfolded is just my perception the men in my office didn't view it like this at all,I feel certain. My ex husband, with whom I have a very good professional and personal relationship with even after the divorce tells me that this is true. Men do not give a second thought to how this event played out in my mind. His major was Sociology and Psychology so he knows a little bit about human nature.

So basically, I learned today..that at the end of the day some people just don’t want to help you. They say they do, they give you a thumbs up and at a girl , but..........
it's basically lip service. So far, I have not found anybody that has been willing to help with my techy debacles. Creating a website has been a challenge to say the least. For someone who had to write programs in high school you would think I could rise to this challenge.

Honestly....
I am older and aggravated with no patience to figure out some of this techie business. I need a younger person to help me and at the end of the day, I feel like honestly people don’t want to help you even if you pay them. A lot of times they don’t want to help you because they don’t want to take on anything extra. I haven’t found someone that enjoys challenges and enjoys monetary compensation like I do and I realize people are not like me, but somewhere there is a tribe that enjoys the same thing I do at 54.
If it weren’t for challenges what would I do with my day? If I weren’t challenged I would be bored. I’m not one to usually to back down from a challenge now with that being said I haven’t won all my battles but I’m a fierce fighter. I am extremely determined and stubborn. Mom always said I was feisty.
I don’t like to give up and at the end of the day, coming in second sometimes is not the end of the world. Life challenges are about lessons from the heaven above. Lessons from God. Life challenges is what it takes for us to be successful people or at least for me.
Life challenges are difficult. In fact, my challenge is just trying to get this website off the ground. Today is the date of of my mom‘s passing and I’m gonna to make the best of it. I’m getting ready to talk to her right now and I brought my boy to visit her. It is a beautiful sunny day out here and there’s not enough purple flowers to celebrate today. Taking this break to celebrate her and her life means so much to me. It is mental therapy.

So it's time to ground and self care and I have no idea where my tribe is .... I’m still looking. Is it frustrating? Is it hurtful? Absolutely!!! At the end of the day, I am still aggravated. Am I upset? Absolutely! It gets old being everyone else’s cheerleader. I enjoy helping others and I like to see people accomplish things. I like to see others succeed and at the end of the day, I sometimes don’t feel like that is what people want for me.......because I am still searching for my tribe.
Check out these links, I love incorporating these fun items in my day to keep me upbeat. Little things help improve my mental health. I love these journals. Olly stress gummies, doTERRA, and A Year of Positive Thinking.
Until next time.....
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